June 2020 Update

Last “monthly” update was April because I skipped May’s. I guess there wasn’t much to tell. I was still unable to read, but I did write a bit and started a new notebook. I had some free days and, although I spent them in lockdown, I’m sure they’re the reason I was able to relax enough to keep writing despite the anxiety.

I decided that I’m not going to focus on finishing anything at the moment because I’m no good at it. If I feel like writing a scene, that’s what I’ll do. If I feel like doing some research, that’s great. I’ve just decided not to care if what I’m doing is good or useful. I just want to enjoy what I’m doing.

In June, work has been busy, but I’ve been able to concentrate more. Maybe I’m getting used to working from home, but I’m still too exhausted to write afterwards and I definitely don’t want to stay all day in front of the same computer.

Compared to April and May, I’m feeling a bit better now, but maybe I’m misremembering because the bad times have passed… I did have some some dark moments that required an emergency therapy session. I’m doing much better now, though, so I’m focusing on that!

At least I’ve been reading again, which I take as proof that I’m doing better.
I realized I was unable to enjoy new books, so I’ve been re-reading some old favourites. With the help of my book recs posts, I’ve been able to make a rather long list of books I want to re-read. Since I didn’t even want to re-read books when I was at my worst, this is a good sign for me.

Let’s hope I can keep it up during the month of July!

Blue butterflies among mushrooms.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

5 thoughts on “June 2020 Update

  1. I think this was and still is a time where it has been very difficult for many of us to focus, and I think it can be especially hard to be creative at the moment, when we are trying to process so much. I would say that productivity, especially now, is far less important than taking care of ourselves and finding time to do what we enjoy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reminding me. You’re right, of course, but it’s easy to forget and start thinking one should be doing more.
      But, at least in my case, it’s never enough. That’s not healthy.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s my main problem, but it’s a natural reaction I have to fight with all my strength for just a second of relief. It’s exhausting to keep it up fo so long. And, as you say, right now is not the time to spend all our depleted energy so fast… I’ve tried to step back until I’m feeling better.

        Liked by 1 person

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